Scre4m - (2011)

I really can't express how much I had riding on this film. Scream was the birth of the modern age of Horror as far as I am concerned and different from many, I actually liked it. Before then we were actually seeing a lot of the same crappy, grainy, body count films with not much to them. Sure there were stand outs, but it was a dry time for horror. Scream came along and suddenly horror was fun again, while still allowed to be bloody and terrifying. Scream 2 lived up to itself, not surpassing the first one but adding to the mythos of the over all franchise much like Halloween 2 (The originals, not the Zombie abortions) did.

The rules of a trilogy sucking could not have hit the franchise harder with the nonsensical Scream 3 hit and most of us were not only sure the franchise was DOA, but were thankful of not having it run into the ground like so many others. Once Kevin Williamson was no longer behind the pen, the movie wasn't worth making.

When I first heard this one was being done my first questions were if Williamson was back and who of the cast would return after all these years. The reason I saw the film so "early" (for me anything under 3 months after release is "early" since I don't go to theaters!) was I was sure I'd hit a spoiler without intending to and the movie I have waited this long to see would be tainted. So I don't want to scare anyone off, there are no spoilers here. I'm not even going to go into particulars. But I do think this was the perfect storm of a Scream movie and every frame came out exactly how I would have asked.

The "celebrity kill" to start the film off was right up there with Drew Barrymore's. The big reveal and who was doing what was pitch perfect not only for the movies, but for the times we live in. It hit every nail on every head I could have asked for. I also have a lot more respect for Scream's treatment of The final Girl than anything they did in the later Halloween Films.

If you are a fan of the first two films, I honestly do not see how you can't love this one. The key word is 'Meta' and I think they do that VERY well.

Eyecandy is fairly sparse in this film unless you like fully dressed high school boys played by 20 something actors. But I have a Lady Boner for both Neve and Hayden (And Anna Paquin and Kristin Bell!), so there was plenty to keep me watching the screen. Plus, you know, the film was actually GOOD.

Thank you Kevin and Wes for bringing me the film I had hoped you'd make. You can feel free to make 10 more if they are this well done and all of you stay on. =)

Hereafter (2010)

I know it's not a "Horror" film and I have several that NEED to be written up. But this one was actually asked for.
Hopefully Rift's servers will go down or something and I will write up the others. I cannot belive it's been three months since I posted! What the HELL?

Let's get a couple of nit picks out of the way first. Completely in the realm of 'suspension of disbelief' this movie was seriously suffering from Hollywood Parking. The Cooking Class Scenes. Watch for it.

Jay Mohr used to be cute. But I think his face is blending together. Maybe he's getting fat or went under the knife but whatever happened... it looks like he's melting. It was distracting. Thankfully he's not around THAT much and Damon manages to steal the scenes anyway.

I should state that I dislike Damon for the same reason I dislike most people that appear on things like Perez Hilton and the cover of other Celeb-Stalker publications. Once they get "known", it sometimes becomes hard to separate Actor from Character. I've never seen an Angelina Jolie movie where I literally stopped thinking I was seeing HER playing so-and-so. In this film is was actually easy to let Matt Damon go and accept this as the story of George. His vulnerability, his hopelessness, all of it was very real. I have to thank an actor when they do that, they enable the immersion when they do their jobs well.

The other stunner was Bryce Dallas Howard. I guess I have seen her in several movies and never made the connection it was the same woman. She's amazing. From the naive lead of The Village, the mysterious Story in Lady In The Water, Gwen Stacey in Spiderman 3 and Victoria in the Twilight films, this girl is a chameleon. I'd cast her as Harley Quinn, and that's about the highest honor ANY actress could get from me.

I can't say enough about the The McLauren twins, Frankie and George,  who both play twins and alternate roles so they look "even more alike". They are nothing short of heartbreaking. The understanding and resignation of what's happening is conveyed with VERY little dialog on their part. They share one of the strongest moments in the film and it's just amazing to watch.

Thierry Neuvic is absolutely stunning every time he steps on screen. His IMDB resume is huge and not a single good picture of him, so I capped one for you..

There are shots of him in the film (perfect lighting, hair and makeup of course) where he will take your breath away. It's almost a distraction. Thankfully Cecile De France has enough screen presence to stand next him. Her story is the weakest, but none of that has to do with the performances, rather her lackluster 'brush with death' schtick. With the other two stories being so strong and unique, hers just fails to stand up. You still care and it's not that it's boring, it's just not as strong. In this maelstrom of emotions this movie wants to play with, more strength would have made the film devastating.

There is a gut punch or two in the movie. I really didn't expect to react to either situation but damned if Eastwood didn't manage to manipulate me into a corner. I was caught off guard and face melted. Pwned as it were. I have to give him props for doing his job. There is a big set piece SFX shot, but it's done well and managed to pull me in. Another later scene could have been a mess and pushed it over the line, but it was actually so subtle it was terrifying. Michael Bay would have missed that one.

The three stories actually do manage to collide and touch each of the main characters but it never really gets to a point where they stretch believability. Unfortunately it never really has much to say on the subject either. The ending is very vague and ultimately doesn't even answer it's own questions. Ultimately this is a story that is in the journey, not the destination. And that may be it's biggest weakness. When you set yourself up to ask "What happens after we die" you really need to make a stronger statement than.... *shrug*

As a character piece and "watch actors acting" movie, it was top notch all the way around. I just wish the story and message had been stronger and with more of an emotional conclusion. Over all worth seeing but don't expect it to be that heavy.

***Eyecandy**
The man candy here should be fairly obvious. I'll even give it to Damon with a little weight on and the touch of grey in his hair, he starting to look like a man. Thierry up there is like a combination of Kyle Bornheimer and Danny Dyer and the first time we lay eyes on him he is sprawled out on the bed asleep in nothing but boxers. He later gets up and wanders around a bit. Not skin, but still candy. Other than that, the story really gets in the way even though there is no clothing removed after the opener.

Hatchet 2 (2010)

I firmly stand by the statement that the original Hatchet was one of the best 'throw back' horror films this side of House Of The Devil. You'll notice that most of the people who didn't care for it happen to be younger. Those of us who saw the first Friday The 13th in the theater appreciate every single cheap nuance that Adam Green put into the making of Hatchet. None of what you saw was accidental and most of it was an in joke. If you were in on the joke, it was a fun film. If you weren't, it seemed to suck. (And I really don't mean that to sound like a "You just didn't get it", I hate when people do that!)

Hatchet 2 continues that tradition and adds to it exponentially. The rumor is that while only 55 gallons of fake blood were used for the first one, 136 gallons were used for the second. That pretty much sums up the entire film. Most of the cast returns (and in one case is one of the best gags in the script. Shawn/Justin was classic!) and pretty much ever cameo seen on screen is a who's who of independent horror films and Adam's own stable. The on screen dialog nods to other films play out just about as fast. I personally loved the "...there was a guy named Lilian Vernon" "Shut up!!". If you can appreciate that bit of dialog, this movie is for you. (For those that don't get it, IMDB: Behind The Mask). The splashing on the trees after EVERY kill has gotten to the point of Rocky Horror. I was actually anticipating it!!

The only problem I had with the film was the recast. Don't misunderstand me, I love Danielle Harris and I think she's a Direct To DvD Scream Queen. I give her props for being Generation X's Jamie Lee Curtis. But the way the two films blend together (a nod to Halloween 1 and 2) it feels a bit jarring that she steps into the lead role. I understand Tamara Feldman had a bit of a breakdown and escaped to Paris and refused to work with anyone.  I hope she's ok, but it was a massive fail on her part to let this role go. Danielle does a great job, and I love seeing her on screen in just about anything, but it did take some getting used to.

The supporting cast is no less wonderful this time around. Tony Todd is back and just as over the top as ever.  Kane Hodder really does send my heart a flutter most of the time (He is really starting to show age in this film though..). Ed Ackerman never fails to entertain me and plays the redneck WAY too well.

It should be mentioned that Adam Green really fought for this film. It was initially released unrated because the MPAA simply wanted too many cuts to make it an "R". AMC Theaters had the balls to put the film on screen for it's opening weekend and by Monday morning the film was pulled for content. The last film to be shown Unrated on a wide release? Romero's Dawn Of The Dead. Now Green has no choice but to milk the home market and try to recoup his costs. The film is not making it's money back considering it's budget, but this is much more due to releasing than the film being good or not.

This film lives up to the first one in every way. It's worth seeing if you liked the first one. They are little treasures of horror film making as far as I am concerned. They are absolutely NOT aimed at the General Horror Audience, this is aimed at Fans. As a Fan, I loved it.

The Gore Factor is off the charts, but it's all done tongue in cheek. This is not Inside or Martyrs. This is more Friday The 13th. Ax to the pussy, seeing nuts dangle after being chainsawed in the crotch, a new and improved belt sander scene, sex with a decapitated lover... etc. But the gore IS over the top and it's even chunky at times!


***Eye Candy***
If you like Redneck, there is PLENTY here to enjoy. Although none of it nude. I give AJ Bowen 5 stars on being so cute and having the most awkward sex scene in the history of horror films. That was great! Adam Green shows up in a cameo again and is every bit as cute as he was in the first (same character too!). Ed Ackerman is uglied up for this role so even if you are into the big boys, he's a big boy with REALLY bad teeth and hard to find him hot. But he is a nice chunk of bear meat normally. Kane is still very handsome in the flashback scenes as Victor's father.


Complete side note here, but I am wondering why Danielle Harris's name doesn't come up when discussing the Hack/Slash film? I think she'd make a great Cassie!! And we need to start a Facebook movement to get Kathy Bates to play The Lunch Lady!!

Skyline (2010)

Skyline seems to be a very polarizing film. You either love it for what it is, or hate it for what it's not. It's filmed similar to Syfy's Sancturary, only with slightly more money and time since it's a major motion picture. The Red Camera and Digital Effects really are the New Hot. Script aside, this shows exactly what you can do with a "shoestring" budget of $10 Mil. It doubled it's modest budget in the theaters and that's not including PPV and Home Video sales.

The story isn't that original, nor does it really explain too much. I know a lot of folks who don't care for this type of story telling, but my question has always been what are the realistic chances of you running into a nuclear physicist who just happens to know how to defeat the invading aliens and knows all about them because he's had a chance to study them and provides all the backstory the audience needs to further the story? I'd say pretty damned slim. Instead you have a handful of average people who happen to survive the first wave of an invasion and have no idea what's going on.

The survivors include Eric Balfour, Donald Faison and David Zayas. Oh and some women. We find out early on that if you look into the light of the aliens, you get sucked away. It's nasty. There are many impressive scenes of what these aliens look like and what they can do to our planet. Pretty sure the entire budget went to the rental of the Red and the CGI work. We do find out what the aliens are after and it kind of all makes sense until the very end. The last five minutes of the film turn into the opening segment of a video game. Seriously I was expecting  the next thing I saw to be a HUD and a control scheme tutorial.

I really wanted to like the movie. I AM impressed with the CGi work and the details. But the writing just completely petered out at the last minute. It really felt they wrote themselves into a corner and just went for broke. The problem is that there is no explanation of to how it happens and sets itself up for another film just for the hell of it.

I don't hate it for what it's not, but it does stand a testament to what could have been. If you can forgive the ending, the rest of the movie doesn't suck.


***Eye Candy***
Personally, the fact that Eric Balfour and David Zayas share the screen in this one makes it well above average. Together they are like my Frosted Mini Wheats of Man Candy. The Bear in me likes him some David Zayas (Ay Papi!), but The Gay Man in me loves him some Eric Balfour. Eric does pull his shirt up a few times and both generally look amazing when they are all sweaty and stuff, but there's no nudity or lingering shots of either. They can, however, be found elsewhere as both actors have shown a fair amount of skin in other roles.

The Tortured (2010)

Quite a different turn for Jessie Metcalfe best known for his beefcake and eyecandy roles. Here he and Erika Christensen play the parents of a young boy who is abducted and murdered by a local psychopath (Bill Mosley who is perfect for the role!).  They manage to get their hands on him and set about exacting a parents revenge for a lost child.

The brutality of the subject matter alone makes it a tough film. The first half hour is spent setting the situation up, including the abduction and murder of the child. The actors are both strong enough to carry this kind of grief on screen and do a great job of putting you through the ringer before the movie even gets going.

The scenes of torture are fairly short lived and compared to other movies on my blog, relatively tame. But by the standard movie goer they will come off harsh and unforgiving. I actually did turn away at one point.

However the ending comes on strong and the twist is nothing short of jaw dropping. This is a well scripted and well filmed piece of film. It's not strictly a horror movie and does play more like a Crime Drama or Thriller, but with the few scenes of mutilation it's elevated to Horror, but just barely. Either way there are much worse ways to spend an hour and 11 minutes.

***Eyecandy***
If you aren't a fan of Jessie Metcalfe, there's not much eyecandy here. And even if you are, he's clothed and fairly dirty through most of the film. Kind of hard to find him sexy when he's covered in tears, snot and blood.

Burning Bright (2010)

What sounds like the worst set up for a thriller/horror film ever actually ends up being a rather enjoyable and tense little film. A young girl and her autistic brother are trapped in the house with a man killer tiger in the middle of a hurricane in back woods Florida. With a script that doesn't take itself completely seriously (The man who sells the tiger in the opening scene is an uncredited Meatloaf...), manages to weave a tale that makes sense and at times has you hanging on the edge of your seat.

There are a spoiler or two that I will avoid, but the set up and how these things come together is a pretty big plot point. But once the chase starts it's well filmed (for the most part) and very well acted.

Briana Evigan (Step Up 2 The Streets) manages to carry most of the film even though Charlie Tahan (Charlie St Cloud) does a more than decent job of playing someone completely removed from the world around him even while sharing the screen with a hungry tiger.

Over all this is a "Family Friendly" thriller with very little gore and much suspense. It's rated PG-13 for the small bits there are, but it proves that you CAN make a good, tense film without showing someone's insides. Really enjoyed this one.

The Loved Ones (2009)

I think the tagline on the poster says it best, "Pretty In Pink meets Wolf Creek" although I saw more similarities to Texas Chainsaw. Wolf Creek must come to mind because it's an Australian film. 

Princess is a very disturbed young woman. When she sets her sights on Brent as her date to prom, nothing will stand in her way. Of course she gets her hands on him but her idea of having her way with him are really on the far side of Out There. Bloody mayhem ensues.

Robin McLeavy steals every scene she is in as the demented and horrifying Princess. Her family is as bad as anything seen in the Texas Chainsaw franchise and they actually bare more than a passing resemblance. There are more than a few cringe worthy moments as she tortures Brent in the middle of her pink colored nightmare. It's really easy to believe these characters and even the sick motivations that fuels them. I haven't been this creeped out by a female since Baby in House Of 1,000 Corpses. And it all comes to a suitably blood drenched ending and a nice sick little twist about half way through that I never saw coming. The final moments really should be considered a Horror Classic. 

There is a side story involving Brent's best friend and his Goth prom date, but it's nowhere near as entertaining as Princess and Brent and if anything detracts from the sick shit going on elsewhere. They provide the comic relief when things are getting intense but in doing so they manage to derail a couple of really terrifying moments. It's a really good film, but could have been a lot better if tightened up a bit. It has a really good air of tension and horror that it could have maintained for the full running time of the film.

It's a sick little Aussie film that may just impress you. Especially if you like to tongue kiss your own father!! The gore is pretty high and plentiful and the squishy moments are pretty hardcore but fans of the genre will feel right at home. 

This is director/writer Sean Byrne's first feature film and managed to garner several awards in different film feasts before landing a distribution deal. The world really does need more Indy Horror that is this well done.