Hatchet 2 (2010)

I firmly stand by the statement that the original Hatchet was one of the best 'throw back' horror films this side of House Of The Devil. You'll notice that most of the people who didn't care for it happen to be younger. Those of us who saw the first Friday The 13th in the theater appreciate every single cheap nuance that Adam Green put into the making of Hatchet. None of what you saw was accidental and most of it was an in joke. If you were in on the joke, it was a fun film. If you weren't, it seemed to suck. (And I really don't mean that to sound like a "You just didn't get it", I hate when people do that!)

Hatchet 2 continues that tradition and adds to it exponentially. The rumor is that while only 55 gallons of fake blood were used for the first one, 136 gallons were used for the second. That pretty much sums up the entire film. Most of the cast returns (and in one case is one of the best gags in the script. Shawn/Justin was classic!) and pretty much ever cameo seen on screen is a who's who of independent horror films and Adam's own stable. The on screen dialog nods to other films play out just about as fast. I personally loved the "...there was a guy named Lilian Vernon" "Shut up!!". If you can appreciate that bit of dialog, this movie is for you. (For those that don't get it, IMDB: Behind The Mask). The splashing on the trees after EVERY kill has gotten to the point of Rocky Horror. I was actually anticipating it!!

The only problem I had with the film was the recast. Don't misunderstand me, I love Danielle Harris and I think she's a Direct To DvD Scream Queen. I give her props for being Generation X's Jamie Lee Curtis. But the way the two films blend together (a nod to Halloween 1 and 2) it feels a bit jarring that she steps into the lead role. I understand Tamara Feldman had a bit of a breakdown and escaped to Paris and refused to work with anyone.  I hope she's ok, but it was a massive fail on her part to let this role go. Danielle does a great job, and I love seeing her on screen in just about anything, but it did take some getting used to.

The supporting cast is no less wonderful this time around. Tony Todd is back and just as over the top as ever.  Kane Hodder really does send my heart a flutter most of the time (He is really starting to show age in this film though..). Ed Ackerman never fails to entertain me and plays the redneck WAY too well.

It should be mentioned that Adam Green really fought for this film. It was initially released unrated because the MPAA simply wanted too many cuts to make it an "R". AMC Theaters had the balls to put the film on screen for it's opening weekend and by Monday morning the film was pulled for content. The last film to be shown Unrated on a wide release? Romero's Dawn Of The Dead. Now Green has no choice but to milk the home market and try to recoup his costs. The film is not making it's money back considering it's budget, but this is much more due to releasing than the film being good or not.

This film lives up to the first one in every way. It's worth seeing if you liked the first one. They are little treasures of horror film making as far as I am concerned. They are absolutely NOT aimed at the General Horror Audience, this is aimed at Fans. As a Fan, I loved it.

The Gore Factor is off the charts, but it's all done tongue in cheek. This is not Inside or Martyrs. This is more Friday The 13th. Ax to the pussy, seeing nuts dangle after being chainsawed in the crotch, a new and improved belt sander scene, sex with a decapitated lover... etc. But the gore IS over the top and it's even chunky at times!


***Eye Candy***
If you like Redneck, there is PLENTY here to enjoy. Although none of it nude. I give AJ Bowen 5 stars on being so cute and having the most awkward sex scene in the history of horror films. That was great! Adam Green shows up in a cameo again and is every bit as cute as he was in the first (same character too!). Ed Ackerman is uglied up for this role so even if you are into the big boys, he's a big boy with REALLY bad teeth and hard to find him hot. But he is a nice chunk of bear meat normally. Kane is still very handsome in the flashback scenes as Victor's father.


Complete side note here, but I am wondering why Danielle Harris's name doesn't come up when discussing the Hack/Slash film? I think she'd make a great Cassie!! And we need to start a Facebook movement to get Kathy Bates to play The Lunch Lady!!

Skyline (2010)

Skyline seems to be a very polarizing film. You either love it for what it is, or hate it for what it's not. It's filmed similar to Syfy's Sancturary, only with slightly more money and time since it's a major motion picture. The Red Camera and Digital Effects really are the New Hot. Script aside, this shows exactly what you can do with a "shoestring" budget of $10 Mil. It doubled it's modest budget in the theaters and that's not including PPV and Home Video sales.

The story isn't that original, nor does it really explain too much. I know a lot of folks who don't care for this type of story telling, but my question has always been what are the realistic chances of you running into a nuclear physicist who just happens to know how to defeat the invading aliens and knows all about them because he's had a chance to study them and provides all the backstory the audience needs to further the story? I'd say pretty damned slim. Instead you have a handful of average people who happen to survive the first wave of an invasion and have no idea what's going on.

The survivors include Eric Balfour, Donald Faison and David Zayas. Oh and some women. We find out early on that if you look into the light of the aliens, you get sucked away. It's nasty. There are many impressive scenes of what these aliens look like and what they can do to our planet. Pretty sure the entire budget went to the rental of the Red and the CGI work. We do find out what the aliens are after and it kind of all makes sense until the very end. The last five minutes of the film turn into the opening segment of a video game. Seriously I was expecting  the next thing I saw to be a HUD and a control scheme tutorial.

I really wanted to like the movie. I AM impressed with the CGi work and the details. But the writing just completely petered out at the last minute. It really felt they wrote themselves into a corner and just went for broke. The problem is that there is no explanation of to how it happens and sets itself up for another film just for the hell of it.

I don't hate it for what it's not, but it does stand a testament to what could have been. If you can forgive the ending, the rest of the movie doesn't suck.


***Eye Candy***
Personally, the fact that Eric Balfour and David Zayas share the screen in this one makes it well above average. Together they are like my Frosted Mini Wheats of Man Candy. The Bear in me likes him some David Zayas (Ay Papi!), but The Gay Man in me loves him some Eric Balfour. Eric does pull his shirt up a few times and both generally look amazing when they are all sweaty and stuff, but there's no nudity or lingering shots of either. They can, however, be found elsewhere as both actors have shown a fair amount of skin in other roles.